My Journey

Life takes funny turns at times. For nearly 24 years I've lived in the same house. For over 30 years I've lived in the same town and never worked further than 20 miles away.

My jobs were always in the realm of public safety. 22 years in the emergency medical field; 17 years as a 9-1-1 dispatcher; 5 years as a firefighter...basically my entire adult life spent trying to save lives and make a difference. I know I did both along the way. I could see the proof in the eyes of those I helped; I could hear the proof in their voices over the phone.



But on May 12, 2007 that all changed for me. On a simple medical call, while hefting the cot and patient across a gravel driveway, I felt a "pop" in my lower back. I'd injured my back in my 20's and I knew what had just happened. After 10 minutes the pain started. Just in the low back at first, but a few hours later it was in my legs. I managed to finish my shift--somehow. When I awoke the next morning, the intensity of the pain going from my low back to my toes was such that I could barely walk. It would be the last night I spent in a fire house. The last shift I'd ever have and the last time I'd ever feel like I was doing something more important than myself.

I don't remember much of 2007 after that. I had just lost my dad in November of '06 and after this injury it's a blur. I had months of physical therapy. I herniated two discs and found I had congenital stenosis (which means the tunnel my back nerves live in is half the width it should be--the slightest swelling and my nerves are pinched). The pain has been a nearly constant companion since that day. It took a year of being in a leg brace for my right foot to point ahead instead out and to the right. I had to learn to walk heel to toe--seems easy enough, but not in your 40's and in intense pain.

A year later I was officially retired from the job I had spent my entire life working towards. I was a full-time paramedic in the town I'd grown up in, helping people I'd known forever, working with people I'd gone to school with, and working 4 blocks from my house. A dream job. Now gone. Completely disconnected from the people I worked with and the patients I'd grown to care about.

Retirement at 40 was not something I ever considered. Who would, really? I scrambled for a few months because finances were suddenly cut in half. As a medic/firefighter I worked for three different departments--not an unusual thing in that field. I loved every minute of it and the pay wasn't great, but it gave me some extra and that was great. I was working toward a grand retirement with my now wife, Sandra.

So money now sucked, but one of those friends I'd made in my early career that had stuck with me, got met a job at a web hosting company he works for. He's now my boss (something we both joke about with 20+ years of friendship) and it's enough to keep me going.

Another year and the finances were looking fine. I have enough and that's what counts. My job is easy--work from home 9 to 5. I never had a "daily" job like that with "normal" hours and it's been an adjustment. And a shock to my system.

Imagine having a job with a guaranteed adrenaline rush every time you go in...to a job that is quiet, solitary, with the most excitement being when a customer calls to yell at you about something. (I will hang up, but that's me. ) 

In the years after my injury, I gained over 70 pounds--I had a sedentary existence and food has always been my way of coping with hard times.

But, here's the best part of the journey so far...as of today, Sept. 5th, 2010, I've lost 65 of those 70 pounds. I began that weight loss after discovering I have diabetes. My medical knowledge of diabetes and the promise I gave my wife of at least 50 years together, spurred me to getting myself healthier.

My glucose is nearly at a perfect number, my hypertension is a thing of the past, and my energy and muscle tone are as good as they were when I was a LOT younger. Maybe better.

And this is just the start of the journey for me. I have 11 pounds to get to my goal weight of 299. The next goal is 250, then 198 and finally at least 180 or so. That would feel so great! It will rock to put on a 3X shirt that fits like a tent!

I've learned over these past few years that life's journey evolves daily. It's never clear where I'm going, only that I'm on a path that no matter where it takes me, I will be okay. I don't save lives like I used to, but I've realized my life does affect others in a positive way and that what I do--whether in my writing, editing, or web hosting--matters.

We all make a difference and what we do matters.